The best ideas in life are those that are absolutely and mind-boggling crazy. Disney has been chock full of those, but lately has been on the confused end seeing that the Magic Kingdom expansion is not totally working out and Harry Potter Is digging a deeper dent than previously anticipated. Now, I have a proposition that will totally change Disney for decades to come. This idea requires strict planning, a lot of helping hands, and a lot of leaps of faith. I came up with this idea back when I was in Epcot, after noticing the wear and tear of Test Track, but then saw the three-hour wait time. In order to truly fix Disney to the core, you need to keep the guests away. But in the middle of the night, that will never be enough time to truly fix Disney’s problems. You need to really do something epic, something drastic, something insane. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to the Disney Walkabout.
The Disney Walkabout is a 4-year project that involves the closing on a Disney theme park for an entire year each year until the total renovation is complete. For example, if the project were to start in the year 2016, Animal Kingdom closes for an entire year. Then in 2017, Hollywood Studios goes down. 2018 belongs to Epcot, and toughest of all, the Magic Kingdom shuts down in 2019, amidst total screams of anger. There will definitely be protests, which is why this needs to be alerted to guests and the media years ahead of time to families do not receive the surprise when it is too late and they check in to the Polynesian Resort only to see that there is no monorail leading to Magic Kingdom.
The purpose of the Walkabout is to give Imaginneers, engineers, and the clean-up crew plenty of time and space to totally clean up and totally re-paint a park without dealing with guests. With the park entirely shut down, you can remove attractions, add attractions, do a re-paint job on essentially the entire property, and give the theme park a brand new and totally fresh look. Along the way, they can go to the back-ends and front-ends of Cast Member property and pick up all the stuff that is just lying around, waiting to be used. Not sure if you should know this, but all four Disney parks have a lot of extra materials just lying around. With the Walkabout, we can clean it all up, and maybe even use it for the other parks (or a brand new one). Like I previously stated, it gives everyone a chance to give each park a fresh new start, and fix some of their issues. I am going to take you through each park and give my two cents as to how the park should operate.
P.S. Before we start, I’ve been asked what happens to ALL the cast members that are working for the park that closes for the year. Now, this procedure would take months of planning, but can be pulled off. The cast members get three options: get re-assigned to another park with the same position/similar position, stay in the park to help organize/contribute to the clean-up (bascially a temporary re-assignment within the same park), or take a year off and receive the minimal pay, and be guaranteed a spot back in Disney once the construction is over. A lengthy vacation, but same pay every week, a minimal amount. The Disney Company will hate me for that suggestion.
Part 1: Animal Kingdom
Animal Kingdom is easily in my opinion the worst of the four parks. Yes, the intentions are nice and whatnot, but the overall quality of DAK is a lot lower than the other parks---and I am even including the non-Disney parks. The potential however is extremely high. For starters, the Oasis area is very nice, and I wouldn’t change a thing. But, once you exit there, the changes will become very prevalent. I would add many more trees once you exit the Oasis and turn that into South America. South America has fascinating wildlife, especially in the Galapagos end, but has no representation here. Change that immediately. Extend the vast vegetation of Oasis, but totally change the music and mood of the place by adding more upbeat tunes and adding more colorful animals.I wouldn’t give South America an attraction because of its placement in the park. But, the vast variety of wildlife should definitely be enough. Now, moving east, the Tree of Life should definitely stay, but should become easier to find. More pathways should be built to gain easier access to the massive tree and its surrounding wildlife.
Moving further east is Dinoland U.S.A. Guess what, I want that entire land destroyed, and I am including Primeval Whirl and the Dinosaur ride. Even the Finding Nemo Show is going under. Now who is up for some Australia? Australia is another fascinating land with very interesting wildlife, but has barely any representation in Walt Disney World. This shall change too. The fossil dig can remain intact, as there are a lot of fossil sights in that country. But, the Dinosaur ride needs to go and become replaced by a nature trail similar to that of the Harambe trail.
Now, my ideas need to appeal to all audiences, otherwise Disney will fire me. So, that being said, there should be a small aquarium section that allows for you to go “under the sea” and see the Great Barrier Reef, and see the fishes of Finding Nemo. Yes, the Seas with Nemo and Friends does exist in Epcot---but when you see what changes I am going to do there, you’ll understand the point of the Nemo Aquarium in Animal Kingdom. Now, if you look at the map, you’ll see on the right side all that land for Dinoland and Nemo. Picture all of that transformed into Australia with a bit of South America on the left side of that section. There will be no Dinoland U.S.A., deal with it.
Everest is perfectly fine where it is. The issue actually comes when you travel a bit further west towards Kali River Rapids. This ride whether needs to expand or cease to exist. The Jungle Trek is decent as it is, but the River Rapids is the most pathetic ride in the entire park. One lift and one drop, which is all that happens in River Rapids. Let’s fix that. The ride shall be longer, shall contain more curves, and more drops. The massive rafts themselves can tolerate a lot more damage and action, so let’s put them to the test, right? Asia needs to become the thrill-ride section of the park and to succeed this, Kali shall become more thrilling, and Everest needs to fix that darn Yeti.
There needs to also be some way to bring the train to Asia to pick up guests. Only one access point to Rafiki’s Planet Watch? Talk about lame. The train should make two stops, one in Africa, and one in Asia. That way more guests have the opportunity to experience Rafikis. Flights of Wonder is fine where it is, but as you move west, you’ll see a pathway that connects Africa to Asia. That area needs to become expanded exponentially, as traffic there is a total disaster when its parade time. With the expansion, allow more wildlife there, consisting mostly of birds. Ah yes, Africa. Africa is perfectly fine, except for one thing: the Lion King Show. How on earth can a show be themed in Africa, is about African animals, yet be placed in a Camp section? Totally contradictory to the theme. The Lion King Show shall move to Africa, no question about it.
So what does that make Camp Minnie-Mickey? Will I turn it to Beastly Kingdom? No, the idea was crappy to begin with. Camp Minnie-Mickey shall remain as is, but should feature more wildlife that pertains to that of camping. You know; raccoons, deer, moose, foxes, bears, eagles, porcupines. In this day and age, less and less kids know how to camp and even fewer kids have the opportunity to see these animals close-up. Camp Minnie-Mickey should offer this opportunity. Now, while the theming of this is a long shot, the Matterhorn Bobsleds should make an appearance here. The kiddies do need their tiny thrill ride, and the small mountain would be a nice re-creation of the Colorado camping look—complete with forest and mountains in the distance. The Matterhorn would work here, but just tweak it a little, make it a bit kid-friendlier, and make it a bit shorter.
Animal Kingdom has room for one last crazy idea, and here it is. Notice the river? There used to be a boat that gave you a nice tour of the park. Well, its time to bring back these boats, but have it transport you to another section of Animal Kingdom. This other section is where I will build the Adventurer’s Club, the classic comedic area that used to be in the front of Pleasure Island. The Adventurer’s Club would be an absolutely perfect fit here, as it offers a nice escape from the Animal Kingdom heat, offers some much-needed adult entertainment in Animal Kingdom, and gives adults reason to visit the park after-hours. For the kids, we can build a younger version of the Adventurer’s Club next door, complete with activities and games for kids to play.
Bottom Line: Animal Kingdom’s Walkabout: Add South America, add Australia, add animals, add more pathways, remove Dinoland, remove Finding Nemo Show, add smaller version of Matterhorn, add Adventurer’s Club.
Afterthought: The Finding Nemo Show would technically still be in the Australia theme, so it could potentially stay, and maybe even leeway the exit towards the Great Barrier Reef area of the park. Hmmm…
To Be Continued. Part 2 will focus on the Hollywood Studios...
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