This is a continuation of a series of blog entries about how I would fix Walt Disney World. My crazy plan, which I call the Disney Walkabout, demands the closing of one park for a year, so it can be tweaked upon, fixed, changed, and given a brand new makeover. The order goes as follows: Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Epcot, and lastly, Magic Kingdom. With the park closed an entire year, it gives all the workers and Imaginneers all the time and space in the world to do some drastic changes that they could never do if there are guests involved. Enjoy, and feel free to make any suggestions or arguements.
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Part 3: Epcot Center
Boy oh boy. Epcot can clearly become the best Disney theme park of them all, if Disney itself put forth the effort. Trust me on this. For starters, Spaceship Earth needs a new narrator, and a new script. The ride itself is nice, but the narrator needs to change. I vote Peter O’Toole. As for the ending, can we please have one? Picking your own ending was kind of a buzzkill considering how detailed the rest of the ride was. I’d say they should try to envision a future to the likes of Horizons. But having the guest pick the finale is like leaving a movie open-ended, which I am not a fan of. Oh, one last thing: no wand, mickey hand, or anything of that sort should be touching Spaceship Earth on the outside. Maintain its original 1982 design.
Innoventions should actually be ahead of the curve, not behind. Playstation 2 games still in Innoventions? Inexcusable. How to escape fires in Innoventions? Also inexcusable. A Velcro show? Are you kidding me? These two spots of Innoventions should remove all the filler, and include more amazing technological advancements, more robotics, and many fascinating toys and gadgets that will set the trend. We need more displays on how technology can improve our lives and the well-being of the planet Earth. If it were up to me, I would remove all the filler/non-futuristic informational slabber and put on an impressive show about the future. The Kim Possible meeting grounds is forgivable; I’ll let that one slide. The roller coaster simulator with the robotic arm? I like it, but it needs much more advertising. We are now moving west towards the Test Track area. I have a fun little idea for that spot.
Test Track needs to go away, immediately. While the building is too massive to truly tear apart and replace, I have the perfect redesign: The Tron Experience. This can focus about the future of computers, the future of vehicles, and the future of computer design. The queue will consist of Daft Punk music while you look at computers and their features and dozens of uses and potential uses down the road. Then, we are treated to a slick, fast, futuristic, dark roller coaster that puts you at a race against another vehicle. So imagine a faster version of Test Track, with an actual race. The grand finale will be two groups of guests in separate vehicles racing each other inside, and eventually outside. This construction alone will require some time, which is why I’d want this park closed for a year—for crazy construction like this. Test Track does indeed have the space for a killer-fast ride, and if it were up to me, Tron would represent the entire building. Sorry GM…
Mission: Space is fine, but needs better theming. The end of the ride looks very watered-down, so we fix that, and do a better job explaining the storyline. When you exit the ride, one of two things should happen, depending on storyline. The first option would be to turn the post-show into a training area in the center of Mars. The other option would be to turn the area into a NASA-like facility. But, the post-show does need to change. Wonders of Life will re-open, mark my words. Except improve Body Wars, and change some of the attractions inside. Learning about the human body is important, and to cooperate with the Future World theme, display advancements in medicine, human care, and other related items. Universe of Energy will be totally changed, with Ellen disappearing, Bill Nye sticking around, but changing the format a bit. Personally, I would prefer a massive episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy, especially since nowadays he has been such a strong speaker for different methods of obtaining energy to power the country.
On the other side, we have the Nemo/The Land/Imagination area. For starters, the Living Seas deserves its comeback. Destroy Nemo, bring back the Living Seas, update the movie, and show advancements in underwater research and filming. Nemo has no place with this beautiful building, so any evidence of it should be removed. Other than the clownfish, the attraction is perfectly fine. The Land needs to update Living with the Land, perhaps allow the boat to go inside some of the other facilities that we’ve only been able to observe from the outside? Soarin’ is a toughie, because it’s popular, inconsistently themed with the Land, and doesn’t really have a spot elsewhere in the park. I think Soarin’ should tour the entire country of the United States, and display all the different types of landscapes you can encounter in America. So, changing the movie will better fit Soarin’ with The Land. Soarin’ Over America; start from Florida and move north to Maine, then work your way west until you reach Hawaii.
I don’t even know what to do with the Imagination building, but Honey I Shrunk the Audience, Captain EO, and the Imagination ride needs to go away. It needs a major overhaul, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin and where to end. I’d say bring back the original-original Imagination ride, and add some new-technology special effects to challenge the minds and imaginations of our guests. In all honesty, I’d love to see Horizons find its re-imagining in the building of Imagination. I’m just going to move on from this sinkhole. Club Cool should be moved to the World Showcase, or should be expanded to become futuristic. By futuristic I mean offer creative ways that soda can be dispersed in the future. For example: free soda, but dozens of different options as to what flavors you want included. Post-note, if Club Cool were to move to the World Showcase, it should also sell some frozen alcoholic drinks and up-the-ante on the air conditioning.
Moving to the World Showcase, we’ll start with Mexico and work clockwise. Mexico needs to fix its boat ride, as it’s not as good as it used to be. Bring it back to its original state, with updated images. Everything else is fine, including the nice tequila bar, and the eateries. Norway is a disaster and needs to be totally changed, or totally removed. Since supposedly Norway no longer supports the Norwegian pavilion, it should be changed. Give it to Australia, as it has no representation in Epcot unless it’s the Food and Wine festival. With the Australian pavilion, we can learn about the culturally-unknown history of the country, offer some of their food, and perhaps even offer insight towards its neighbor New Zealand.
If Disney still wants Norway however, you better get rid of its ride, because that’s a travesty. The ride is nothing more than a mediocre leeway to a movie that people generally skip anyway. Not insulting Norway, but insulting the way Disney handles this little speck of property. Not a fan, really, not a fan. Personally, Australia would fit better here. China is perfectly fine, and now we find ourselves with….Africa? What is this area anyway? History suggests it was supposed to be Africa but the sponsors backed out, leaving this area as a wasteland. Have no fear, with the Walkabout, we will have an African country there; whether it be South Africa, Egypt, Kenya, or Zimbabwe. There is plenty of room there, and it should be utilized well.
Next up is Germany, which is doing fine. Then we have Italy, which is improving thanks to a new restaurant opening there. That being said, there should still be a nice romantic boat ride that puts you in the middle of Venice. The American Adventure, while I am strongly against America being one of the so-called countries in the Showcase, is doing fine as well. If Disney would let me (I hear the word “never” in the air), I would split the American Adventure into two, that way nobody thinks we are planting a country in the middle of the showcase to show its superiority to any other country.
Here is where a South American country should be represented, whether it be Brazil (which would be the top option), or a Spanish country like Argentina, Columbia, or Chile. Odds are Brazil would be your best bet with Disney/Brazil relations being nice and mighty. But, a South American country is indeed missing in the World Showcase, and there still is plenty of space for at the most three countries. I think I will save Brazil for later, and add a Spanish-speaking South American country (Argentina, Colombia, or Chile) and have Russia right next door. Russia still has a bad rep in the States, and its time that we see the beauty of the world’s biggest country. Besides, where else in USA will you be able to eat authentic Russian cuisine? But, I am sure America will need its place in the World Showcase, Disney would never allow a Showcase without America. Nonetheless, if it were up to me: Russia and Argentina.
Japan is actually the best pavilion of them all in terms of detail but supposedly there is still room for more—since back then there was supposed to be some sort of a mountain ride in the back. I think there should be a ride that puts you in all the worlds created by Miyazaki and his films. Picture a Fantasyland-like ride that instead of showing events of one movie, show events of multiple movies; from Castle in the Sky to Spirited Away. And if we need to condense it to one movie, My Neighbor Totoro is the Miyazaki film that best represents the beauty of Japan.
Morocco is a well-themed pavilion, and I don’t see much necessary additions, besides changing the quick-service eatery a little. France is where our next issue needs to be resolved. The Impressions of France needs an updated movie, immediately. It’s a beautiful attraction with beautiful music, but it’s heavily-dated. It needs a new movie with the same music. No film from the 80s should still be playing in a Disney attraction, especially with Soarin’ not too far away. Canada and China changed their movies, its time France does the same.
United Kingdom is fine, but in between that pavilion and Canada is a good portion of space. Remove the building that used to be the Millennium Village, and add Brazil right in there. Brazil will be the crazy party pavilion of the World Showcase. With live entertainment, live music, and live dancing well-throughout the evening, this is the spot to go to liven up anyone’s spirits. The Brazilian pavilion will have a couple quick-service eateries, a massive photographic gallery of the nature and beauty of Brazil, and then a lively dance floor where upbeat music plays once the evening strikes. Just wait until the massive summertime Brazilian groups visit this spot.
Canada is fine, but its time to fix the Refreshment Port. I’d transform it to Taste of the Caribbean, and offer popular street food from the Caribbean islands, including Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and the Bahamas. Since the Caribbean gets no representation in the showcase, and it would be rather tough to re-create a small island country that contains a consistent tropical vibe, a small eatery representing their food should be fine enough. Those couple of pathways leading to the showcase should also contain some small quick-service eateries of food and drinks from the Caribbean.
Bottom Line: The Epcot Walkabout: Update almost ALL of Future World, fix up the World Showcase to represent more of the world, transform Test Track into Tron, get rid of Nemo, get rid of Imagination, get rid of Ellen, re-open Living Seas, Wonders of Life, and Horizons. New counties should include Australia, South Africa, Russia, Argentina, and Brazil. Epcot is the one theme park that can benefit the most from these changes, and can transform itself from a park to an incredible experience. This is the only park that can actually top Magic Kingdom in terms of overall quality for all age groups, and if we include the changes I recommend, I really think Epcot can pull it off.
P.S. Illuminations is a classic, and should never have to change.
Part 2
Part 1
To Be Continued: Part 4 will focus on Magic Kingdom. That is going to be a fun one......
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